Pancakes and Bacon Doughnuts

24 Mar

photo 2(15)

So I was browsing Facebook the other day and found this article. A woman was kicked out of Planet Fitness because her hot body was too intimidating to other clients. Or rather, her visibly hot body – because she was wearing a crop top. Good Lord. Check out that link – it gives a picture of her. It’s not even that small of a top right? Although it’s not like we should be that surprised. This is Planet Fitness we’re talking about – the company that banned another member for ‘grunting’ and removed the squat racks from the gym because they were too intimidating. Apparently another location also removed the flat bench, incline bench, decline bench, DEADLIFT PLATFORMS, and all dumbells greater than 75lbs. All I have to say is – thank goodness I don’t go to there. 90% of my time at my gym is spent grunting (although I prefer the term ‘lady growling’) while squatting from the rack wearing a sports bra. A world where crop tops are forbidden from the gym is not a world in which I wish to live. And how’s a girl supposed to work on her 80lb dumbell snatch in that environment, nahmean???

But whatever, we know Planet Fitness sucks and doesn’t actually care about fitness. My main point here is – I am effing sick of men telling me – and women in general – how to dress in public. Like, so sick of this shit. It’s bad enough we had to deal with this crap growing up. When I was a kid, the rule at my school was no tube tops and no tank tops that revealed bra straps. Not exactly tyrannical behaviour right? But now I hear that schools are starting to ban leggings – LEGGINGS! – because they male students can’t control themselves around legging-clad female legs. First you take our squat racks, now you try to take away our leggings?? Is there some kind of conspiracy against posterior chain development going on right now that I wasn’t aware of? But for real – so many of these rules come down to the same thing – woman dresses in a way that is considered provocative. Man sees woman. Man feels attraction. Man, never taught effectively to control his behaviour, gives way to piggish male tendencies and harasses woman. Woman gets upset. Man (aka society) blames woman for tempting him. Woman is vilified. The world turns.

Let’s get real here and actually address the root of the problem – that boy need to be taught at a young age that while their hormones might be telling the one thing, only certain types of behaviour are fair, right, and appropriate in public. Being sexist pigs is not ok. And it’s certainly not a woman’s fault. Start this at the school age, and maybe they will grow into decent human beings! The answer is not to force women to cover their bodies. Am I saying to let schoolgirls let loose and wear whatever the hell they feel like, before they have grown into their bodies and sexuality? Absolutely not. But the idea that woman should plan their outfits around not ‘distracting’ the boys is insane. This kind of victim-blaming continues tenfold in adult society.

I was discussing a similar topic with a friend a month or so ago – we were discussing female sexuality and eventually got on the topic of clothing. I discussed the idea that a woman should wear whatever she wants in public without having to feel threatened or objectified. She argued that a woman dresses a certain way with the direct intention of being objectified and earning attention. When women argue about wanting to wear ‘whatever they want’, they aren’t arguing for the right to dress preppy vs. hipster – they are arguing for the right to wear revealing clothes, when the only objective a woman has for wearing revealing clothes in the first place is to titillate. This is where we disagreed.

This is an argument that hits close to home for me. Street harassment became a regular part of my life when I was 13 years old and started taking the city bus to high school several times a week. This has not changed since. I could tell you stories of the things that have been said to me and done to me that would literally make you feel sick. And I can tell you right now that what I’m wearing at the time does not make a difference. I’ve gotten harassed at 7am while walking to work in a business suit at least as many times as I have in the evening wearing a short skirt. The last time I was physically threatened on the street was last fall when I was wearing gym sweatpants and a long-sleeved Michigan t-shirt. Not exactly provocative right?

Women care about our looks. We like to feel attractive when we leave the house. We get excited about new clothes. But don’t mistake caring for our appearances or dressing immodestly as a cry for attention. Believe it or not, being objectified is not the thrill for us that men seem to think it is. Some of us wear little dresses in the summer because we think it looks cute. Some of us work out in sports bras because it’s more comfortable. Don’t vilify us or try to tell us that dressing another way would be more ‘appropriate’. Don’t tell us we’re ‘asking for’ negative attention. Don’t try to censor your girlfriend’s wardrobe because you don’t like the idea of other men seeing her look good. Just. Stop.

Speaking of nice clothes – one of my best friends got married on Saturday and just like the last time I had to wear a nice dress, I held my breath and prayed that something in my closet would fit. And all the dresses that were too small in December now fit again!!! It seems that tightening up the diet has been paying off. Eating paleo really does work. Who knew? And while I was a bit concerned about my shoulders looking bulky (even the most confident of us have moments of self doubt) I quickly threw out those negative thoughts and had a blast. All our girls from business school were together and we had a seriously epic time celebrating! But man – since I’ve stopped drinking regularly, a night like that just kills me. I don’t get hangovers but I’m so sleepy and lazy the next day. So long story short, I didn’t do any cooking. All weekend. Thankfully I made these amazing doughnuts last week. They were a bit rich for me to have more than one but they were super tasty and my coaches made quick work of the rest of them. And they tasted just like my favourite weekend breakfast – pancakes and bacon! You can’t lose with this combination.


5 eggs

1/2 cup almond milk

1/2 cup maple syrup

1/2 cup unsweetened apple sauce

1/4 cup coconut oil

1 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup almond flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 1/2 tsp cinnamon

pinch of salt

3 large slices bacon, chopped

1/4 cup maple sugar

Preheat your oven to 350. Grease a doughnut pan with coconut oil and set aside.

Fry your bacon over medium heat. You can have this cooking while you prepare the rest of the recipe. Even if you like your  bacon a bit chewy, you’ll want to cook it more than usual, ensuring that all fat has rendered. Always follow this guideline when baking with bacon. Once the bacon is cooked, remove and cool on paper towel. Keep the bacon fat and pour it into a small bowl. Set aside.

In a blender, combine the eggs, almond milk, maple syrup, apple sauce, coconut oil and vanilla until perfectly smooth and frothy. If using a high-speed blender like me this should only take about 5 seconds.

Add the dry ingredients and blend again until smooth – about 10 more seconds or so.

Pour the batter into your doughnut pan, filling each cavity almost to the top – this recipe doesn’t rise toooo much so you’re safe to fill them pretty high. Take your bacon pieces and sprinkle them into the cavities, evenly distributing them among the doughnuts. Its fine to let the bacon sink into the batter.

Cook for about 20 minutes, until browned and cooked through, repeating as many times as possible (I got 18 doughnuts total from this recipe). Cool on a cooling rack until they reach room temperature.

Once your doughnuts have cooled, it’s time to glaze them. Get your bowl of bacon fat ready, as well as your maple sugar on a small place. One at a time take a baking brush and dip it into the bacon fat and spread the fat onto the top of the bacon – you don’t need a ton. Now dip the top of the doughnut in the maple sugar, swirling it around so the top is completely covered in sugar. Repeat this process until you’re finished.

Allow the fat/sugar combo to set into the doughnuts before storing them. Enjoy!

photo 1(15)

Source: adapted from a recipe from Against All Grain

Help Meliks! Where can I find these ingredients?? I used maple sugar that I found at Noah’s Natural Foods. I’ve never worked with it before but it was a great alternative to my usual go-to sweeteners maple syrup and honey!

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